studiobondurri Chapter 35 - 35
Chapter 35 - 35
Chapter 35
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I let out a groan, slowly pulling myself up from where I had fallen. I'd been expecting some magic to hit when whoever the villain that was going to fuck was us did his thing but I-
A black boot pressed against my chest, forcing me to lean back a touch.
"Who are you?" Tea asked me in a heavy... Russian? I wanted to say Russian... accent. She leered at me from the top of her glasses, keeping her boot pinned firmly to my chest, her hand on her gun though thankfully not pointed at me (gun safety training always remains with you, even if that was a rifle rather than the handgun Tea was holding). "And where is here?"
"You know there are men that would pay a lot of money for this," I said, thankful that the mask I had on had a voice modulator in it to give my words just a little extra oompf!. Just a little bit of reverb went a long way. "But I'm not one of them." I allowed the power of the Key to flare slightly, creating a burst of Shadow Realm magic to shove Tea off me. I didn't know I COULD do that but hey, neat to know. Damn useful too and I really hoped it was Filler Arc exclusive. She stumbled back before quickly regaining her balance. "As for who I am," I said, getting to my feet and tugging on my jacket, straightening it, "I am the Devil."
"You wouldn't be the first to claim that, darling," Mai said, getting up and smoothing out her dress before pulling out a long stemmed cigarette, lighting it and sitting on a chair with arrogant grace. "Plenty of us have been called that."
"But I can back it up," I told her before looking at Tea... or The Baroness as she was at the moment. "You know I thought a spy and terrorist would be a bit more... cautious about attacking strange men."
"I am afraid of no man," Baroness said coolly. "Men are afraid of me."
"I am no mere man," I said gruffly, realizing rather quickly that if I was going to get out of this in one piece I had to play up being the bad guy. "I am so much more."
"So it is for all of us, lad" Davy Jones said, getting to his good foot, peg leg striking hard on the dance floor. It was rather shocking how much Mako had been altered; there was nothing of the Water Duelist in Davy's features. He drew his cutlass and narrowed his eyes at me, smirking. "But I've found in me travels that few can live up to-"
I held up my hand and firing off a blast of Shadow Realm magic as the key emerged from my chest but stayed hidden under my shirt. It struck Mako Jones right in the gut and sent him flying across the room; I'd worry about Mako's hospital bills later. I was mildly disappointed he didn't slide off the wall like one of those toy sticky octopuses though.
"Now then, Ferryman of the Dead,"I snapped as I took a step towards him, "are you willing to listen to what I have to say or do you, or anyone else, want to keep interrupting me? Because I will warn you... that was my only sign of forgiveness for such interruptions. I'm not in the mood for a dick measuring contest... I want to say what needs to be said. And you WILL listen."
"I'll listen to ya!" Yuri/Harley Quinn declared, easily flipping to her feet before leaping over to a chair and sitting down, grabbing a bottle of Coke and pouring herself a glass. "I do love a man in uniform!" She flashed a smile at me and wagged her eyebrows before chugging the bottle before letting out a truly epic burp.
"A bit of sorcery?" Baroness complained. "It has nothing on the world of science."
"Sorcery, science?" Yugi said and I looked up, REALLY glad for my mask because fuck me the spell had caused him to go into Yami Yugi mode so he was taller and definitely more intimidating dressed as Sephiroth. "You think far too small." He looked at us and scoffed, clearly deciding at once we were beneath his notice. His entire stance made it clear that there would be pain if anyone tried to engage with him.
"They all really do," Joey/Loki said with a bored tone, lazily walking about the room. "They are merely one and the same."
"Both merely needing to be mastered... by the right hands," Shredder Renard said, glaring at us all...
...only to go flying through the air when M Bison Tristan lashed out and struck him with a hard punch to the gut.
"So many petty would-be dictators have said such things in my presence," he said with utter boredom. "I used to bury their corpses but... I ran out of graves."
Shredder Renard roared and leapt as Bison, the two of them trading blows while Yugi/Sephiroth folded leaned against the DJ booth, watching with utter boredom. Mako Jones had managed to pull himself from the heap that I'd left him in but before I needed to worry about him coming after me someone that had been dressed as Doc Ock dropped down from the ceiling and attacked, clearly having decided that there could only be one tentacle villain in the arena. Which was odd because this was Japan and yes I was rather proud I had gone this long into being in Anime World before making a tentacle porn joke.
I looked at Baroness who was still staring me down in annoyance and smirk before walking over to her and whispering, "Hail Cobra." She raised an eyebrow at that and I shrugged before she nodded in agreement, moving back to join Cruella De Mai and Yuri Quinn at the table they'd decided to plunk down at to enjoy the battles that were filling up the duel arena. Mai was lazily smoking ('I am going to need to have her gargle a lot after this') while Yuri was acting like she was Jim Ross giving WWE commentary, calling out the names of attacks being used while guzzling her pop and grabbing some chips that were in a bowl on the table and stuffing them in her mouth. I honestly didn't blame them as everything was rather insane and wild. I spotted a mummy fighting Odd Job, Saruman duking it out with the White Witch, and Mr. Freeze firing icy blasts at Subzero.
"What the hell is going on?" Duke asked, crawling over me, keeping his head down as explosions happened over head.
I blinked, confused. "Duke?"
"Yes!" He paused. "Edwin?"
"Yeah, me." I looked back to make sure the others weren't paying attention to me. The Teaness was clearly determining who she could use to further Cobra, Cruella De Mai was judging the poor fashion senses of the combatants, and Yuri Quinn was giggling up a storm. "Though don't tell Tea. She's the Baroness now and she believes we both work for Cobra Commander. Wouldn't hurt if you said Hail Cobra or Death to GI Joe." I looked at him, seeing him just staring down at me. "So... ordered your costume someplace else?"
"What the hell is going on!?!" Duke screeched.
"Long or-"
"HELP!" A teen cried out. She was dressed as the Wicked Witch and was cowering in the middle of the dance floor as the villains fought around her. She kept twisting about, trying to find some way to escape, only for another villain to suddenly attack right where a path to salvation had been. Her eyes are wild but she's just managing not to cry even though I can tell she is scared out of her mind.
"Hold that thought," I said, looking around rapidly before spotting the DJ's set up. "Thank god for multiple cabinets," I muttered as I kicked at one, tearing at the material until the door and frame both pulled off. "And shoddy craftsmen ship! Hey kid!" I slid the door to her. "Put it on the ground and hold on!" The moment she did so I went to another cabinet door, activated the key...
...and stuck my head out of the door now lying on the ground, grabbing the startled young woman and yanking her through it and back out to safety. Sephiyugi merely looked behind at us, let out a little huff of amusement, then went back to watching the fights.
"Ooooo!" Yuri Quinn said. "Now pull a rabbit out of your ass!"
"How... how did you do that?" the girl asked.
"Magic," I said with a shrug. "And I'm dead serious."
Duke shook his head. "Magic... but that-"
"Tea literally turned into the Baroness from GI Joe. Do not give me that 'magic isn't real' bullshit!" I snapped before looking at the girl I'd rescued. "You okay Miss?"
"I'm fine." She looked over at Yugiroth. "I see things are still insane around Yugi."
"Still?" I asked, surprised. "You know him?"
"Yeah. Miho... I'm friends with him and Tea and Joey and Tristan. My dad got transferred to Australia-" M. Tristan let out a laugh before moving to pummel someone who had dressed like Drago from Rocky. "-and now it not the time for back stories. Any idea what happened?"
"Magic spell cast on costumes bought at a place called Ethan's. Neither of you got your outfits from there so you are immune and I took precautions." I watched as Joey/Loki allowed an enraged Orc leap at him only to reveal it was a phantom fake, the real Joey/Loki having made his way up to the bar to grab a drink. "...should I call him Joki?"
Duke blinked before flailing his arms about. "Are you seriously cracking jokes right now?"
"No, I'm jokingly cracking jokes." Duke glowered at me and I sighed. "Listen, we have to wait for an opening to get out of here so we can get to Ethan's and smash the statue of Janus. That should stop the spell. But we can't just walk out and unleash the villains on the public. We need to be careful-"
"Hello bad guys!" a voice cried out.
"-or wait for the mastermind to show up," I muttered, looking towards the back of the duel arena where, standing on a balcony, the bored cashier from the costume shop now stood... looking decidedly less bored. "Huh, he looks better when he isn't hunched down in his seat looking like he doesn't give a shit."
The clerk looked like most late twenty-somethings who had decided to party hard in their youth only to realize the world required money to keep the fun going and became crushed by the capitalist machine to the point that such enjoyment wasn't for pleasure but to numb the pain. Floppy stringy dark hair, a little soul patch beard, piercings in his ears and nose, a ton of tattoos, wearing a simple pair of jeans and a black tee with the words "I AM THE HERO!" emblazoned upon it. The only thing that really stood out and made him look something other than your typical mid 90s slacker protag was the necklace he wore around his neck. Rather than a shark tooth or some sea shell chain or whatever douche thing a man of his type might have chosen he'd selected a green gem in a golden casing with striking straight script running along the surface of the gold.
"At least that isn't the Eye of Horus," I muttered to myself before tilting my head. "Does he look like a young CM Punk to anyone else?"
"Who?" Miho said.
"I hate this world."
"I suppose I should introduce myself," the mastermind of this madness declared. "I am Parker Roger Stark-"
"Oh come on!" I called out in annoyance.
"-and I... have always loved... heroes. Larger than life. Dedicated towards the aid of others. Fighting for the good of all. They are who we should strive to be. They are the examples we should look to in our darkest moments and the people we wish to be to all those we care for." Parker's smile, which had grown as he spoke of his love of heroes, fell into a dark glower as he looked about the arena. "But all of you... each and every one of you spoiled little brats... all you care about are the villains. I hear it all the time. How awesome they are. How cool. You buy their action figures and wear their faces on your shirts and post cutsey little memes about them on the internet."
"...please don't tell me this is his reason for this shit," I grumbled.
"Your entire generation... all you care about are villains. You worship them! Idolize them! Think they are the greatest beings ever! The most popular! And how you excuse all they do!" He threw his hands up in the air in disgust. "I've read your little articles about how this villain was right, how they are misunderstood! Seen your fanfics about how they should get the girl or have the happy ending! And what's worse... oh, what's worse... you want the heroes to be like them. 'Why doesn't Batman kill?' 'Thor should just take over the world!' 'Why do they have to be so good?' None of you respect heroes!"
"Of course they don't you fucking idiot!" I shouted, though my voice was drowned out by the catcalls and jeering from his audience. "You made them all into villains! You aren't even talking to your fucking target audience you rancid piece of donkey butter!"
"I am trying to show the world the power of heroes!"
"Power?" Duke asked, firing on Parker Zedd. "Heroes aren't about power... they're about justice. You kept screaming that."
"Villains care about power," Hina declared as she joined in, forcing Parker Zedd to spin his staff to deflect the blows. Still, they were driving him back, forcing him onto the defensive.
"Heroes are selfless," Miho stated, having leapt up to the beams that lined the ceiling and taking a sniper shot that shattered our foe's staff in two, opening him up for Duke and Hina to fire twin blasts at him. "You don't care about heroes and villains... you care only about yourself."
"You don't understand!" Parker screamed. "This world... its wrong! It worships evil and darkness! I am trying to bring light!"
"Light guides!" I roared as I leapt into the air, swinging my staff and causing an arc of energy to shoot out of it and strike Parker Zedd, sending him flying as a small explosion went off. "But it can also blind! Darkness conceals... but it also protects."
"You don't get to decide someone is evil just because they like something you don't!" Duke declared, walking forward towards the downed maniac. "You don't get to condemn people... torture them... because they aren't you!"
"There is evil in the world," Miho said, leaping down to join Duke, "no one denies that. But you don't defeat it by sinking to its level."
"A hero rises," Hina informed him, firing on the Locket of Loki and shattering it, causing Parker to transform back into his normal self. "A villain sinks."
I was the last to join the Sentry Rangers. Parker looked at me with utter hatred and I shook my head. "This isn't a fantasy world," I said, not missing the irony of me being the person to say that. "Good and evil aren't black and white. No man is without sin. And there are very few people in this world that aren't worthy of redemption. You don't get to twist people's minds so they fit your preconceived notions just to live out your power fancy." Using the tip of my staff I dragged the Janus Disc away from Parker who feebly reached for it.
"They'll...never learn," he groaned out.
I just scoffed. "Power down." I touched my morpher, the other three mimicking me, before slamming my shoe into the disc, shattering it. "You'll have plenty of time to learn about villains while you rot in a cell surrounded by them."
"...ugh, why does my mouth taste like an ash tray?" Mai called out.
~MC~MC~MC~
"Man, that was... weird," Joey said, rubbing the back of his head. "I feel like I went 4 rounds with the Hulk!"
"Thor, actually," Edwin said with a smirk. He'd removed his mask, leaving him just in a suit. He, along with the rest of the gang, were seated at a table. Thriller was playing and there were lots of folks on the dance floor but Yugi and his friends were just relaxing after their rough night. Most of the party goers had put down what had happened as a strange dream or some kind of VR experience; Edwin had marveled at how the people of Domino could delude themselves. That meant that despite having hosted for a short while a collection of villains Duke's Halloween Party was still going strong.
"Well, I'm just glad I didn't fight," Mai said. She moved to cuddle up to Edwin only for him to shake his head and point to the bottle of mouth wash on the table. "Oh come on!"
"Your breath smells like my grandma. Now gargle." Mai glared at him before sighing and doing as he asked.
"It is lucky you decided to switch out your costume, Edwin," Renard said, giving him a look that made it clear he didn't exactly buy his explanation but wasn't going to press.
"Made the skin on my nose peel. Didn't breathe. Thank God for Amazon Prime." He leaned back in his chair and Mai, having done another Scope Chaser, was finally allowed to bring her chair close to his and snuggle up against him. "None of you feel the urge to maim or kill?"
"No," Tristan said. "Though..." He stood up and did a few spin kicks. "I wasn't able to do that before."
Tea nodded quickly. "I know how to assemble most standard handguns. Not sure when THAT will come in handy!"
"I have psychology knowledge and the lyrics to Ducktales stuck in my head," Yuri complained.
Joey rolled his eyes. "Better than me and Yug! He can swordfight and I know spells for magic I ain't got! It ain't-"
Renard tossed him a plastic knife which Joey caught, spin around his fingers, and threw so it embedded itself into the table.
"-bad at all!" Joey said with a grin.
"I'm just sad Miho couldn't stick around," Tea said with a sigh. "I wanted to hang out with her more."
"Can you blame her after she had to become a Power Ranger to save the day?" Duke asked before holding out his Morpher to Edwin. "Want it?"
"Keep it. Souvenir."
"I wasn't ever going to offer it anyway," Hina teased.
Mai drew a lazy circle with her finger on the table. "What's going to happen to the nut Parker?"
"Well," Yugi said, "hopefully he learns his lesson. And if not I just hope we-"
"DON'T!" Edwin cried out.
"-see him again."
"...god damn jinx," he muttered.
"Hey guys!" Bakura said, running up to us. "What did I miss?"
~MC~MC~MC~
I walked into my bedroom and sighed, slipping off my suit jacket and tossing the All For One mask onto the bed. "Need to tuck that away so I don't have nightmares," I muttered. I walked over to a safe I had in my room and opened it... the Millennium Key causing it to become a doorway to another safe... that was inside a safe... that I had gotten sunk in the bottom of the Pacific Ocean. Inside I saw the Earth 2 Millennium Ring and chuckled; the mask wasn't going in there, as I didn't feel like tempting fate even if the Ring was pure with no Zorc taint. No, I would put the Morpher in there... even depowered it had allowed me to achieve a dream.
"Was fun while it lasted," I muttered before thrusting out the morpher with a grin and with a whisper I said, "It's morphin' time... Tyrannosaurus-"
I blinked when there was a flash of red light and I found myself in the Sentry costume again.
"...oh fuck me," I muttered, looking down at myself. The Key... the fucking Key! I must have accidently locked it so that when the Janus Disc broke the spell on the Morpher didn't end. Meaning that it was an actual god damn morpher. I was a Power Ranger!
I looked at myself in the mirror.
"Probably just filler arc though," I muttered, taking off the helmet and glancing at my Ghostrick deck that had only popped up today. "And... the others won't... try to use theirs...heh."
"DUN DUN DUN!" my phone played.
~Several Days Later, During Battle City, Australia~
"This is a robbery!" the bandit shouted, firing his shotgun into the air and making everyone cry out and leap to the ground.
Everyone... except a girl with a hoodie that hid her face.
"Hey!" the robber said, pointing the gun at her. "I said get down!" The girl just stood there. "What, you have something to say?"
Miho smirked. "Yeah... it's Morphin time."
"What?"
"Pterodactyl!"
Outside the bank the windows lit up with pink light...
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