Eighteen's Bed

Chapter 5.4

I flicked the area around Han Taesan’s lips with my finger. Tiny blisters dotted his lips. I had seen this exact pattern before. This was definitely...

“Hngh.”

Han Taesan, who had been silently watching my fingertip, touched his lips at my words. His face flushed red before instantly draining of color as if someone had poured ice water over him. His face turned a sickly shade of blue-green as he hurriedly covered his mouth with his palm and leaned back. With both hands tightly shielding his lips, he lowered his head. That reaction turned my suspicion into certainty.

“D-Don’t touch me.”

“......”

“I-It’s just... I’m just tired, that’s all. I’m fine.”

“Did you—?”

“I-I gotta go! I-I’ll head u-up first!”

Han Taesan hurriedly slipped past my vaguely outstretched hand, disappearing in a rush. I was left standing there, engulfed by a strange feeling.

As far as I knew, those blisters... sure, they could appear from exhaustion.

But Han Taesan’s reaction proved that exhaustion wasn’t the only cause. He had done something. And it was definitely with Han Junwoo. What exactly?

I stood there, staring at the door he had disappeared through. My chaotic emotions settled into something calmer.

“Well, it’s none of my business.”

I picked up the emptied trash can and headed back into the building. As I climbed the stairs, a single pebble skipped across the still surface of my thoughts. What exactly did they do?

I looked up toward the corridor above. Unfamiliar students were running around, shouting.

For a moment, I let the small ripple settle once again. It didn’t matter. Whether they’d done a blowjob or an irrumatio, it had nothing to do with me.

The deduction was over. It led nowhere. So, I chose a new approach—if I couldn’t figure out the culprit, I would just make everyone else my ally.

I was quite pleased with myself for not getting bogged down in useless contemplation.

In situations like this, it’s best to go for a simple yet effective solution.

I decided to buy the most expensive burgers for everyone in my class today. The decision was quick, and my mind felt light. My footsteps weren’t particularly heavy either. After seeing my grades yesterday, my mother and father had grown much more generous toward me.

For some reason, I wanted to tell Go Yohan about it. Even though he had ignored me like an ass, I still wanted to say, Maybe God does exist after all. He hadn’t granted all my prayers, but he had answered the most desperate one, hadn’t he?

That once-healthy-looking dark skin, those deep eyes, that soft nose, those lips filled with intoxicating sighs—had all turned into just Han Junwoo.

Now, that skin wasn’t any different from Kim Minho’s. Those deep eyes? Just tired. That nose—okay, sure, it was still pretty good-looking. But those lips? Just plain old lips. Lips belonging to a dumbass who would deliberately blow smoke in someone’s face knowing they hated cigarettes.

Even back then, Han Junwoo’s cigarette stench had been unbearable. Just how strong was the shit he smoked for it to reek that badly? My eyes must have been rotten.

“Yeah. I wasn’t in my right mind.”

The plague that had infected me at seventeen had finally lifted. The disease that had clutched my throat like a death sentence had ultimately lost to time.

I always knew this day would come.

I felt light enough to fly.

That’s right. From now on, my path would be nothing but smooth. I wouldn’t be ignored by anyone. I wouldn’t walk a different path from the others and suffer for it.

Even though I arrived at school a little late, my mood didn’t dampen. In fact, I felt like I was soaring.

My freedom.

I threw open the back door of the classroom, elated.

That happiness lasted until exactly that moment.

The moment I saw that all-too-familiar back sitting in the very last row of the center column, my mood plummeted into hell.

Han Junwoo was back.

****

Tap. Tap.

Seated at my desk, I tapped my pen against the textbook at a steady rhythm.

Han Junwoo’s new seat was at the very back of the center row. He didn’t sit next to Han Taesan this time. Maybe out of consideration? Who cares.

The original occupant hesitated for a long time before finally asking the teacher’s permission to take another empty seat. He had tried to protest in an attempt to reclaim his spot, but the moment Han Junwoo cursed under his breath and hurled his bag against the wall, he fell silent.

Even rotten, a mackerel was still a mackerel, huh?

The class naturally turned to look at Go Yohan. As if asking for help.

But Yohan only spared the scene a glance before burying his head back into his workbook.

Still a non-literary workbook.

I clenched my toes at the sight of the squiggly underlines scribbled beneath every passage.

Lee Seokhyeon, Kim Minho, Kim Seokmin, Park Dongchul—everyone reacted the same way. Just a brief glance before looking away, like Yohan.

And what about me?

I prided myself on being smarter and sharper than the rest of these idiots.

But in the end, I was still just another pathetic high school student.

I kept my mouth shut too.

And I did something a little mean.

The official class size was 36 students.

I had ordered burgers for 35.

Honestly, it wasn’t my fault. How the hell was I supposed to know Han Junwoo would be back?

After second period, nearly every desk had a big white paper bag sitting on top.

Every desk except one.

No textbooks. No white bag.

I sat back and pulled out a fry, popping it into my mouth. Nice and crispy.

Then, as I chewed, I turned my head toward Han Junwoo, who sat among the gluttonous pigs stuffing their faces with burgers and fries.

And I gave him the brightest smile I could muster.

"Sorry. I didn’t know you’d suddenly show up today. I didn’t order yours. My bad."

After scoffing at him, I looked straight at his broad back.

A noisy conversation echoed from somewhere nearby, growing closer.

That snapped me out of my thoughts.

Ah, fuck. Why do I keep doing this?

Shaking my head, I stepped closer quietly.

Then, lowering my voice to a whisper, I slipped a lime-flavored candy into his pocket.

"Thanks."

Fuck, this is embarrassing. But strangely, it wasn’t a bad feeling. Just awkward. Embarrassing. I couldn’t handle the humiliation, so I turned quickly, about to rush back into the classroom.

Until Go Yohan grabbed my shoulder.

"What did you just say?"

My body was yanked around, and the forced movement made me scowl. He frowned in response.

"Nothing."

I twisted again, trying to escape. I tried to, but this time, Yohan grabbed my wrist, stopping me.

"Nothing, my ass. Say it again. What did you just say?"

"Forget it."

"What was it? Say it."

"What the hell? You heard me."

I shook off his grip and lightly smacked his back with my palm. Just barely. Then, I hurried away.

A good mood was a good mood. But the moment I laid eyes on Han Junwoo’s face again, it nosedived straight into the ground.

He was leaning back in his chair, staring forward. I scoffed at his pathetic expression.

Following his gaze led me to Han Taesan’s back.

That useless fucker.

Han Taesan had been slumped over his desk all day. Those two should just spend the rest of their lives making each other miserable.

I was so sick of this bullshit that I shook my head once, sat down, and got ready for the next class.

Even after class started, I couldn’t fully concentrate. The reason? Han Junwoo still didn’t have a textbook.

The teacher noticed and called him out for it. Whether I wanted to or not, my eyes kept being pulled back to him. He was fucking distracting. How the hell was I supposed to focus when he kept interrupting class?

Annoyance scratched at my nerves. I didn’t get why I had to waste time in class listening to lectures about Han Junwoo instead of actually learning. I was so fed up that I pulled out a sticky note from my pencil case and wrote down a math formula I needed to memorize.

I was trying to gather my scattered focus when the teacher suddenly shouted—

"Hey, you! Han Junwoo!"

I nearly jumped out of my seat. Startled, I snapped my head back up, looking between the teacher and Han Junwoo.

What now? He must’ve mouthed off again. Fucking hell. Pathetic.

Muttering curses under my breath, I scribbled on the sticky note.

I was lost in thought while writing, and before I even realized it, I had written out my actual thoughts.

I fucking hate Han Junwoo.

I froze. My pen halted mid-stroke.

Just seeing his name made me sick.

Nothing was left except pure spite.

He was nothing but a piece of shit ruining my life. Even my past self—the one who ever gave a damn about him—felt like a goddamn waste.

A dull gray mist settled over my mind, thick like fog. The mounting irritation drained my thoughts into an unconscious haze.

And then, when my vision sharpened again, I noticed something.

Somehow, at some point, my hand had written his name.

My heart plummeted.

A sharp, heavy thud echoed inside my chest.

Heat flooded my head. My pulse pounded.

Panicked, I blacked out his name with my pen. Scribbling over it until it was utterly, completely unreadable.

Then, I crumpled the sticky note tightly in my fist and threw it toward the waste bin across the room.

As soon as I did, I glanced around. And just like that—

I met Go Yohan’s eyes.

His cool gaze ran over me, scanning me like he was suspicious of something.

"......."

My face burned.

Did he see?

I quickly sat up straight and clenched my fists tight.

I resisted.

Resisted whatever this was.

I didn’t even want to think about what I was resisting, because acknowledging it meant accepting it.

I clenched my fists even tighter.

No. Absolutely not.

Never. Not ever.