Mist

Chapter 44

Who Am I

Chapter 44

Ji Yushi asked, “Why are you coming to Ning City so suddenly?”

“It’s not sudden.” Song Qinglan said, “I have been away for a month and should go and visit my grandfather.”

Ji Yushi asked when Song Qinglan would arrive and said, “I happen to be outside right now. I can come to the station to pick you up.”

The information about “Wang Xiaoqian” was very important to the current Ji Yushi. He didn’t think much about it and he also didn’t consider whether or not it was inconvenient for the other party.

In fact, Song Qinglan had driven his sports car at a super high speed as soon as he hung up that morning, so he had already arrived in Ning City. After arriving, he finally realised that they had been up all night and Ji Yushi may still be resting.

Thinking this, Song Qinglan resisted the urge to look for Ji Yushi and went to his grandfather’s place first.

He had also only just received the information and he sent a message to Ji Yushi as soon as he was done glancing through it.

He didn’t expect Ji Yushi to call back so quickly.

After the call connected, in order to avoid seeming too eager, Song Qinglan casually lied and said that he was still on the way.

So when Ji Yushi asked him this, he glanced at the time and lied, “I’ll arrive around eight.”

Ji Yushi started the car, “Then wait for me in the waiting lounge. I’ll head over now.”

After hanging up, Song Qinglan who was still at his grandfather’s place hastily cleaned himself up and drove to Ning City’s North Station.

He rushed the entire way and managed to park his car and reach the waiting lounge just before eight o’clock.

There were many people coming and going from the station, and there were a lot of people in the waiting lounge.

Song Qinglan glanced around and didn’t see Ji Yushi’s figure. Having confirmed that he hadn’t arrived yet, he breathed a sigh of relief. Immediately afterwards, his heart sank, and he quietly let out a curse.

Since when did he deceive others like this?

Was it really necessary?

Song Qinglan had never had this experience in the twenty-six years of his life. He had never felt anxious because of another person and had never felt the need to see someone with his own eyes in order to feel relieved.

Song Qinglan had noticed that Ji Yushi’s mental state wasn’t right.

He didn’t know if people with hyperthymesia have a tendency to overthink but the ‘Chief Wang’ mentioned by Ji Yushi was a discrepancy between his and Ji Yushi’s memory. The calm attitude after seeing Chief Qi, and the ‘brain in a vat’ mentioned over the phone, it was all quite negative. It was completely not like the state a person would be in after successfully escaping and returning to the real world.

For some reason, the scene of Ji Yushi opening the medicine box and taking a pill lingered in his mind.

In the park management office, the bookstore, outside the ward.....The chaos in Ji Yushi’s memories were all curbed and controlled by those pills.

The other party’s fragile face, his trembling eyelashes, as well as the unconscious groan he let out when the space capsule was sucked into the crevice, it all contrasted greatly with his logical, intelligent and rational appearance.

No matter how perfect the psychological evaluation report was for Ji Yushi, there was a saying that goes ‘those that are too rigid, fold easily’. A human would breakdown if they stubbornly persist and endure past their limits.

It stood to reason that after the transfer was over, Ji Yushi shouldn’t have any further connection with their squad with the exception for the mission report.

There would naturally be people caring about Ji Yushi’s mental state and it was clear that there were no shortage of people who would do that.

But Song Qinglan couldn’t help but think.

Since it was possible for him to have several relationships at the same time, it was also very likely that each one of them weren’t serious.

So those people, would they really care about Ji Yushi?

“Cap Song.”

Song Qinglan only waited for a few minutes when he heard a calm voice sound in front of him.

After saying this, Song Qinglan’s furrowed brows didn’t relax. His heroic face seemed to have tightened even more, “I had no impression of Wang Xiaoqian’s name before I read through her information but when I read some of her essays, I suddenly had a vague impression. I seemed to remember debating about some of those points and was eventually persuaded but in my current memory, the person I debated with was Chief Qi.”

Ji Yushi was stunned, “Double memories?”

Song Qinglan also had double memories?

“One memory is relatively vague and the other is very clear.” Song Qinglan said, “But I don’t believe that we are in an illusion. What we are looking at is definitely reality, but it may not be our original reality.”

Ji Yushi had just left the Ji residence and Professor Ji’s words were still lingering inside him.

Hearing Song Qinglan say this, he couldn’t help but ask, “You also think that we have come to a parallel world?”

Song Qinglan remained silent and didn’t comment on the world ‘also’.

He continued to calmly drive the car, “If this is a parallel world, then there must be another us. Where did they go?”

These words struck Ji Yushi’s heart hard, making him fall silent.

This was a problem that had been troubling Ji Yushi. Coupled with his chaotic memory and the fact that it had only been a few days since his return, Ji Yushi’s state was already very bad and possibly even worse than how he was in the Ouroboros mission.

He was already very overwhelmed.

Song Qinglan, “The ‘brain in a vat’ theory you mentioned made me think about this question for a long time. I’m wondering, did we arrive at a parallel world or is this our original world and have we just acquired memories from another world? In other words, what is happening to us is the sequelae of travelling through time and space and the so-called double memories is actually us going mad?”

Am I the butterfly or Zhuangzi? (KKnotes: This is another reference to the Butterfly Dream poem mentioned previously where Zhuangzi wondered if he was a man who dreamed of a butterfly or a butterfly dreaming of being a man.)

How do people tell that something is truly real?

“And I finally reached a conclusion.” Song QInglan said, “It’s actually very simple if you want to know the answer to these questions.”

The car had at some point in time reached Ji Yushi’s place.

Ji Yushi had originally thought that Song Qinglan would drive the car to his grandfather’s place and then he would drive back home. This would be considered as ‘dropping Song Qinglan off’.

But it seemed that Song Qinglan didn’t seem to have understood his intentions. Looks like he may need to drive out again.

But Ji Yushi didn’t have the time to worry about that right now.

Because Song Qinglan said to him, “The key to solving the problem lies with you. This time, I don’t want to discuss the mission report we need to give to the people above. I want you to tell me everything you remember from the moment you arrived at Jiang City, including Ouroboros, Chaos, and everything that happened after we were intercepted. If we look at the memories from a different angle and peel the skin off layer by layer, we will definitely reach the truth.”

The streetlamp outside illuminated Ji Yushi’s calm face. Only he himself knew how violently his heart was beating at this very moment, “My other memory? What if I make a mistake?”

“Anyone with overlapping memories can make mistakes but you won’t. Whether this is a parallel world or the aftereffects of traversing, Advisor Ji, your memory is the key for us to distinguish between the realities.” Song Qinglan said, “I believe in you.”

In reality and not in a mission. This line was spoken almost too straightforwardly.

The inside of the car was suddenly quiet for a few seconds.

Song Qinglan let out a light cough and said, “You can go up. I’ll take a taxi and go back to my grandfather’s place.”

And he had to also go back to the station to pick up his car.

Ji Yushi however asked, “Cap Song, can you go back tomorrow?”

Song Qinglan almost choked, “Huh?”

Was Ji Yushi inviting him to go up and stay over for the night?

Of course, he definitely didn’t mean it that way but wasn’t it a bit inappropriate for a straight man to stay overnight with a man whose sexual orientation was men?

Perhaps it was because of Song Qinglan’s hesitation, Ji Yushi belatedly remembered that the other party had PTSD towards getting close with a gay and felt that the other person may have misunderstood something. He undid his seatbelt, the red mark on his neck appearing and disappearing at the edge of his collar, “What I meant was———”

“Okay.” Song Qinglan smoothly got out of the car, “We shouldn’t leave it until it’s too late. If necessary, we can video call Old Zhou and the others to see how they are going.”

After he said that, he looked upstairs and narrowed his eyes, “Who’s home?”

Ji Yushi breathed a sigh of relief, “Just a cat.”