studiobondurri Chapter 136: Survival (1)
Chapter 136: Survival (1)
Chapter 136: Survival (1)
The Black Witch glared at me. Her eyes contained longtime contempt. “The second-generation outcast of Shinseo Middle and High Schools. That is what you named him, Kim Gong-Ja. You giggled as you gave him the name. Because of you, I had to...”
But the contempt was short-lived. The Black Witch frowned and returned to her usual poker face. It seemed she was exhausted by her own emotions. Even though her face was blank, I could sense exhaustion seeping through her facial features.
“Forget it. I don’t even want to talk to you about this. Even if I do it, it only makes me feel worse. Shit! If I had known bullying would happen here, I would have gone to another school.”
“You are the class president, therefore you are responsible for what happens in the classroom.”
“So what? Are you saying that I should take responsibility for the bullying?” the Black Witch asked sarcastically. “Amazing. So it’s true that you hang out with ■■ these days and meet the other students one by one. Even the teachers praised you in the teachers’ room. ‘Kim Gong-Ja repented.’ ‘He turned over a new leaf.’ Good for you.”
She sneered at me coldly. “Life is easy for people like you, isn’t it? All you have to do is apologize after hurting someone else. ‘Please forgive me because I apologized and I meant it.’ If you say that, then everything gets fixed. You never meant to hurt others, it was all just pranks that weren’t meant to go too far.”
I didn’t deny that.
The Black Witch pursed her lips. “Of course, you can use that excuse once or twice. But just how many times can you abuse that? Would it kill you all to not bully others? Do you see people as trash and the world as the dumpster where you hurl your mistakes and pranks? You’re sick...”
Once again, she stopped just before her emotions became more intense. Nervously, she looked down at her indoor school shoes. After coming up to the rooftop, the Black Witch didn’t look at the Constellation Murderer even once.
“Class president,” I said.
“Don’t do this to me.” the Black Witch muttered. “Don’t bring me and ■■ to a place like this. You’re going to tell me to apologize or admit that it’s my fault. I didn’t do anything wrong. It’s all your fault...”
“You don’t think so.”
When the Constellation Murderer committed suicide last time, the school desperately turned a blind eye to the incident and used various means to forget and cover up the incident.
“Did you see the text message he sent? Isn’t that really crazy?”
“Yeah. Now that I think about it, he was always a bit strange.”
The Constellation Murderer was the crazy and strange one. But we—we were normal.
Maybe the bullies had sent text messages harassing the Constellation Murderer as a joke. It was indeed a joke, though this was only a momentary moral deviation. Everyone did that, so their behavior was perfectly normal.
Maybe they had laughed at the Constellation Murderer before, but that was a mistake. They didn’t mean it. They just giggled because everyone around them did. They hadn’t done anything wrong.
“Think about what is important and pull yourselves together.”
“Yes, Teacher.”
Just like that, the students had pushed their classmate off the rooftop. Even suicide, someone’s death, couldn’t make these people feel guilty.
—You’re the ones who killed me. Don’t forget that you did this to me.
Except for one person. The Black Witch hadn’t answered “Yes, Teacher” and had just lowered her head without saying a word.
“Seriously, don’t do this to me...”
While numerous perpetrators were so proud of themselves that they didn’t even try to hide their madness, one bystander remained silent.
The Black Witch shut her eyes. “I did my best. I tried to stop it as a first-year student, too. Damn it.”
And there were hundreds of reasons people kept silent.
“I looked up all kinds of things because of you guys... Did you know that this school is under the Seryun Educational Foundation? There are ten board members, and among them are your girlfriend’s parents, Kim Gong-Ja. You didn’t know that, right? You just bullied ■■ for no reason. The board of directors also includes the senior pastor of Samwon Presbytery’s Seryun Church. This is the church my family goes to! I see him every weekend!”
The Black Witch pressed a palm over her forehead.
“Why do I have to know all this because of the shit you did! Just. Please... cut it out... I’m already a second-year student now... I only sleep four or five hours a day. I’m busy. I’m a scholarship student just like ■■... You all may just laugh and enjoy school life! Maybe you’re bullying people without thinking of the consequences!”
Malice was easy, while goodwill was always impossible.
“I’m desperate! This school has a goddamn scholarship selection committee, and our great homeroom teacher is there as the second-year lead teacher! You didn’t know that, right? You don’t even need to know! Damn it, I brought up ■■ to him and... Please. Just please, stop this. I didn’t want to know all this! It’s all so disgusting. You, our homeroom teacher, the school, everything is... I’m busy with my own life, so take care of this on your own!”
“I’m sorry,” I muttered.
One reason was enough to commit a malicious deed. However, good deeds seemed to need hundreds of reasons.
“Sorry? Ha, how sorry are you? Fuck. Never mind. Don’t apologize to me, Kim Gong-Ja. Really, don’t. I don’t need or deserve an apology. And you also don’t need or deserve a chance to apologize either because you’re a scumbag. Live and die as the scumbag that you are. Please make sure I won’t ever see your face again after graduation.”
A shiver ran down my spine. It felt as if an electric current struck my brain.
“... First, let’s major in social welfare. We need a certificate. If we want to survive in this world, we have to be strong, ■■. We have to surround ourselves with walls so that others can’t look down on us or meddle with our lives. Let’s study. Let me help you... I can help you.”
Ah... I bit my lower lip.
“Which university you go to or what certificate you have... may seem useless right now. But, if we have those, we can do much more than without them. They’ll give us strength. We have to become strong before we can achieve what we want. ”
Ah...
“Let’s help the kids together. On my own... it will be difficult. Yeah, I may not be able to endure it on my own. I would probably end up hurting the kids. But if two, three, or four people like us get together, we can do anything.”
Director.
“Let’s try...”
Director...
“This school isn’t everything. It’s probably not. ■■. We can create a new world. ... Let’s start with small steps. Just two people can create a new world. Please don’t die. Together... Let’s live together in a different world...”
I was looking at a younger version of my orphanage director.
“You didn’t do anything wrong.”
I could remember his fatigued voice in my head. If I thought about it again now, the director had seemed wary of loving me and the other orphanage too much.
“Don’t let a guy like me affect you like that.”
It seemed like he had always been afraid.
The Constellation Murderer stroked the young director’s head. “I don’t think we can make a lot of money.”
“We can’t...”
“I think it’ll be difficult.”
“Others also say it’s very difficult...”
“But I think it’ll be better than now.” The Constellation Murderer smiled. “I gave up studying in the second semester of my first year. It’ll be a little tough to catch up.”
“It’s okay. It’s not too late yet.”
“Yeah, Class President...”
[The trauma’s recreation level is low.]
“... let’s survive this world together.”
[The data cannot be recovered.]
The rooftop collapsed as the school melted. The bell rang, signaling the students to go home.
[The trauma recreation has been terminated.]
But... What if the Constellation Murderer learnt to smile again? What about the director’s teenage years, which I had no clue about? What if two classmates, one smiling and the other crying, prevented a tragedy from happening? What if the Constellation Murderer never took his own life? And what if there were no regrets about the past?
It didn’t matter. All of these possibilities got buried in the black darkness.
[Confirm that the subject’s ego is maintained.]
Everything disappeared.
[Ending the Skill penalty.]
The world sank into a sea of noises.
■. ■. ■. ■.
I opened my eyes.