studiobondurri Chapter 88: A Trashy Show Is A Classic (1)
Chapter 88: A Trashy Show Is A Classic (1)
Chapter 88: A Trashy Show Is A Classic (1)
“I’m going to move the OJP Sect’s headquarters to the twenty-second floor,” the Viper abruptly said a few days after we and the other Hunters had cleared the Heavenly Demon Chronicle.
“What?”
“We’ve decided to relocate our entire dojo there. Just like you’re the heir of the Heavenly Demon Cult, my teacher is the Murim Alliance's leader, and the OJP Sect is my guild. It’s only right for me and my guild to become part of the Murim Alliance,” the Viper said as he nonchalantly thumbed through a novel.
Like I had witnessed the last time, the Viper was, surprisingly, a bookworm, although his taste was very biased. Luckily, many of the books here satisfied his bizarre taste.
He was wearing glasses. They were just for fashion and cost 9,800 won. His book had a magic book cover, which was a Hero Grade item that could be put on any book and freely change the title and cover. It was sold at a market price of 2,000 gold.
“My teacher almost spent the rest of his life in bed, but he’s fine now. The Chemist said that she’s made that possible for him to move around at least, so I’m planning to ask him to be my sect’s grand protector.”
“The Murim Alliance's leader as the grand protector...” I murmured.
“Yeah. He’s very sad about the Heavenly Demon’s death; it even makes me depressed when I look at him,” the Viper said.
A protector ensured their sect’s lineage, and a grand protector was the highest of them all. The Viper was basically trying to make the Murim Alliance's leader the greatest elder of his guild.
“It’s better to be busy at times like that, so he’s going to teach new students. That way he won’t have time to get lost in depressing thoughts. It’ll also help my guild members increase their martial prowess.”
I eyed him, a little surprised. That was very thoughtful of him.
The Viper felt my gaze and stopped turning the pages. “... Hey, Death King. Why are you looking at me like that?”
“It just occurred to me that not anyone can be a leader of one of the Five Guilds.”
Despite being an otaku of unimaginable proportions, his subordinates deeply respected him. I had always wondered why, but it turned out there was a good reason. He took very good care of his people.
“I-is that so?” The Viper scratched his nose, blushing. “Ahem, ahem. D-don’t get any weird ideas! I just did what was right. If I were praised for doing something right, the world would be a very desolate place. I don’t want to make the world like that.”
“Gross...”
“Huh?”
I shook my head. “I didn’t say anything.”
Anyhow, the Viper’s story got me thinking: taking good care of my people was what I had been thinking about even before I entered the Heavenly Demon Chronicle. I was now the Rank 3 Hunter. Was being a high-ranking Hunter and knowing a bit about martial arts enough? Maybe it was time to build some virtuous popularity.
...Who could I consider to be my people...?
—Oh, I want to have a duel. I want it so bad. A brutal, devilish match. I’m hungry for a fight where I have to risk my life. Zombie, let’s choose murim for the next apocalyptic book too. Find a murim where a rogue sect is dominant this time! You can become a master martial artist in a rogue sect this time! Let’s gooooo! the Guardian screamed.
...No, not this guy.
“Gong-Ja! I made clippers specially tailored to your fingers and toes! Once you taste my clipping skill, you will never be able to trim your own fingernails and toenails again!” The Indoor Librarian’s eyes shone dangerously. “Give me three minutes! No, two minutes will be enough! Please trust me with your hands and feet for just one hundred twenty seconds!”
It was certainly not this moonstruck Constellation either. He was even worse.
[Shiny sings about your brilliant achievements again today.]
[Shiny verses your brave roar on the walls of the Aegim Empire.]
[Shiny choruses your desperate yet beautiful struggle in murim.]
[Shiny bridges how happy she is to be able to see you today too.]
[Shiny outros long live the hero.]
Huh...? Were there no normal people around me? Seriously? That was strange. I was a model student who tried to live a normal life—why was there only a crazy ghost, an insane Constellation, and a lunatic sword around me?
When I thought about it, none of them were humans either. That was insane. Was this my fate? If it was, wasn’t it a shitty fate? Was god an asshole?
You Shitberian Husky...[1] I thought.
“Haha, Death King! What are you thinking about?”
“Mr. Inquisitor, I was thinking that it would be good if you went to the thirteenth floor and negotiated with the priests from the world of the Aegim Empire. It would be nice if newbie Hunters could take quests there.”
“Oh! I was thinking of something similar. It seems you and I click! We both think about how to be helpful to everyone! Okay, I’ll get going!”
After shooing away the Welsh Corgi Inquisitor, I was even less confident in my fate.
“Uh... M-Mr. Death King.”
A savior appeared before me as I was about to dive into a pool of despair.
“I succeeded in mass-producing the zombie virus cure. The ingredients needed for mass production are relatively easy to obtain. Uh, Hunters will be able to roam around the twenty-second floor without any problems as long as they’re vaccinated first.”
It was her!
“Miss Chemist.”
“Y-yes, Mr. Death King...?”
“What do you think about moving your shop?”
The Chemist blinked. “Excuse me?”
“The shop is too small right now,” I explained, laying out the plan I’d been thinking about since she’d won the competition against the Medicine King. “You’ve become more popular after you cleared the stage, so you should expand your shop. The number of orders will skyrocket—will you be able to handle that volume from your current shop?”
Ultimately, we had no choice but to call on the last member of the team who cleared the twenty-second floor together.
The Viper put his arm around him. “Medicine King, your business is no fun nowadays, huh? I’ll give you a good spot in the OJP Sect’s headquarters on the twenty-second floor. Why don’t you come and be my guild’s exclusive doctor?”
“Hey, OJP Sect Master! Who do you think I am? I’m Shawn McCallister!”
Despite his big talk, the Medicine King’s business was actually not doing well. The selling point of the Medicine King’s merchandise was that they were high-end, but the Chemist showed up, offering people the most deluxe grade of medicines and potions. The Medicine King’s merchandise deteriorated into a half-baked luxury.
Everyone knew that, and so did the Medicine King. After some persuading, the Medicine King groaned. “I’ll take some commissions by giving some shots and taking care of emergencies on the twenty-second floor for the time being.”
“Yes, please... I also need a doctor for my teacher anyway,” the Viper murmured.
“Hmph, yeah... He and I speak more of the same language than I do with Marcus. Okay, I’ll do it. I’ve been feeling a little lonely too.”
Even as time passed, Hunters continued their attempts to clear new floors. After all, we weren’t the only Hunters who would dive into a new floor to clear them.
Twenty-First Floor: Great Library of All Life
Twenty-Second Floor: Heavenly Demon Chronicle (Genres: Murim, Fusion)
Twenty-Third Floor: The Space Iron Knight’s Epic (Genre: Sci-Fi)
Twenty-Fourth Floor: Diary from the Dawn Mountain Lodge (Genres: Mystery, History)
“Good. Good, good, good, good.” The Black Witch smiled with satisfaction.
She was the leader of the Hunters now, carefully deciding which apocalyptic book we should clear and who would form the expedition team to do so.
“Death King, this is all thanks to you. Clearing the Heavenly Demon Chronicle so well got the other Hunters pumped to try and beat you.” The Black Witch gave me an affectionate look. “These people used to ignore everything I said! Ah, if only they’d always been like this...”
It was more like she was looking at a golden goose. At this rate, she was going to say that the Tower was built because of me.
“If we keep this up, we’ll be able to clear the thirtieth floor before the end of the month.”
Unfortunately, the Black Witch’s prophecy was wrong. In the second week since the Heavenly Demon Chronicle was cleared...
[The attempt to clear the twenty-fifth floor has failed today.]
Hundreds of Hunters and the Black Witch looked up blankly.
[Announcement.]
[The attempt to clear the twenty-fifth floor has failed today.]
“What? What...?” The Black Witch was perplexed. Her black eyes were filled with shock. “I sent the best team... but they failed...?”
A hologram screen in the great library was broadcasting a Hunter team’s apocalyptic book expedition live. There we saw countless demons giggling as they slaughtered humans.
Among the humans being slaughtered, there were familiar faces: the Countess and the Paladin. They were the Rank 4 and Rank 9 Hunters, respectively. While the Countess handled Babylon’s money, the Paladin managed the city’s law enforcement. In other words, they were the people in charge of the Tower’s economy and order. They were the best people we could send for that team, as the Black Witch had said, but the team had failed.
The Story of Sormwin Academy
Genre: Romance, Fantasy
Difficulty level: D
Required challengers: 4~5 people
※Serialization is currently discontinued.
Description: Sormwin is a prestigious magic academy where friendship, healthy rivalry, love, and jealousy can be found just like any other place. This apocalyptic book would have remained an ordinary academy novel if only an artifact capable of destroying the world hadn’t been sealed in the academy’s basement!
Reason for discontinuation of serialization: The villainess loses her fiance, the Crown Prince, to a female student who has been given a second chance at life. This drives the villainess mad, so she unseals the artifact, releasing a great demon and bringing destruction to the world.
The apocalyptic book was only ranked D in the difficulty level. The world was chosen because they had developed magic and had abundant minerals like mithril.
“Oh, that’s too bad.” The Indoor Librarian looked down at the stupefied Hunters. “However, it’s spilled milk now! If you can put back what’s spilled, then it might be different, but I can’t undo an expedition that’s already failed. Please understand my predicament.”
The Indoor Librarian was smiling, though. He was basically saying that if someone could put back the spilled milk... he would make an exception. It was obvious who he was talking to.
I headed to the library’s bathroom. I had also stopped by here before heading to the world of the Heavenly Demon Chronicle. The mirror above the sink reflected a man with a dark expression.
“Damn, I’ve never even read a romance novel,” I muttered.
—Well, you hadn’t read a murim novel before either, but you made it work. I’m pretty sure it won’t be an issue for you. The Guardian shrugged.
“That’s true, but...” I sighed and grabbed the dagger. “I can’t just let the Countess and the Paladin die, and it doesn’t look like it’ll be solved if I send in someone else. I guess I have to do it myself.”
Someone might tell me that I could just give up the apocalyptic book and choose another one. But that wasn’t that simple—I had a reason why I could not give up on that apocalyptic book.
[Shiny cheers for the decision you made.]
Another fragment of the Goddess of Protection was hidden there too.
“... Alright.” I gripped the hilt of my dagger and steeled myself. “Let’s go!”
I rewinded time until I got to the day before the expedition team was formed. That was the moment when my next stage was decided to be a romance novel.
1. The raw is 이 시베리안 허스키. It’s a Korean wordplay on how Siberian Husky sounds similar to 씨발(sipal). ☜