studiobondurri Chapter 103 Hugo's Eulogy.
Chapter 103 Hugo's Eulogy.
It was Hugo's last day on earth...
The morning light streamed through his blinds, rudely stabbing him awake.
His groggy eyes fluttered open, and a glowing blue hologram screen flashed across his face. He squinted at the screen, and the first thing he saw made his heart stop.
[15 hours, 59 minutes remaining until Death Mission Deadline.]
Eradication. Not deletion. Not a casual "oops, system malfunction."
No, eradication. The word rang in his head like an ominous death knell, and Hugo felt his soul shrivel.
He hadn't even lived yet! He hadn't kissed enough girls! He hadn't even unlocked the legendary skill "Six-Pack of Seduction"!
He sat up in bed dramatically, clutching his pillow like a tragic Shakespearean hero.
"This can't be it," he whispered to no one, staring at the bland ceiling of his tiny room. "I'm too young, too... sexy to die!"
Then his eyes gleamed with determination. From under his pillow, he pulled out a crumpled piece of paper.
A list. Not just any list. His "Last Day Bucket List: Things I Must Do Before I Die."
Written in his finest handwriting (aka, barely legible chicken scratch), the list was Hugo's desperate attempt at seizing the day.
He had accepted it. A man must know what the circumstances were and accept them. If the date with Lily didn't end good this night, he would truly die.
His hands trembled, and his pillow dropped to the bed. "This is it. The end. My time on this planet is officially over!"
He clutched his head dramatically, like a mad genius mid-breakdown. "I can't go out like this. No way. I refuse to be remembered as the guy who fart-sneezed during orientation!'
Then he turned to the paper in his hands and looked at the list...
The first item? Write my own eulogy.
Experience tales at empire
"Of course," Hugo muttered, his voice resolute like a Japanese warrior about to commit Hara-Kiri. "A proper send-off for a legend."
He grabbed a notebook and pen, his fingers trembling with purpose. "Let's make this a masterpiece."
Despite constantly upstaging him, Collins remained a loyal friend, always ready to offer sage advice like, "Just be yourself, bro," while conveniently forgetting that being himself wasn't exactly working.
Then came Sanchez, the self-proclaimed "mentor of legends." With his uncanny ability to turn even the simplest advice into a 3-hour lecture, Sanchez was a walking enigma. His most profound wisdom?
"The way to a woman's heart is through her stomach... preferably with a discount coupon."
Though his lessons often veered into the absurd, they somehow worked...occasionally.
Together, they formed a trio of unmatched synergy—one being the face of charm, the other the voice of experience, and him, well... the guy who brought snacks.
Romance, too, was a battlefield he fearlessly ventured into. Every woman he met either wanted to kill him, save him, or join him.
He became a magnet for strong female characters with dubious common sense and inexplicable sexual skills.
Despite their affections, he never let his heart waver—for his true love was destiny (and maybe also spicy ramen).
In the end, Hugo's life was not defined by his failures—though there were many—but by his undying hope that one day, he'd figure out how to be cool.
Hugo Fernandez: gone too soon, but never forgotten.
P.S. If you're reading this, please tell Lily I had a crush on her, but not enough to haunt her or anything. I'm not that kind of ghost.
P.S. If you're still reading this, please tell Collins he still owes me 7 bucks. I'm that kind of ghost."
Hugo sniffled loudly, wiping an imaginary tear from his eye. "Beautiful. Absolutely beautiful. They'll probably teach this in schools one day."
Then he frowned, his face twisting in horror. "Wait a second...this is so cliche! Every single overused trope is in here! I sound like a rejected anime protagonist!"
With a dramatic groan, Hugo crumpled the notebook into a ball and hurled it across the room. It hit the wall, bounced off, and landed squarely in his trash can.
"Well, that's fitting," Hugo muttered. "If my eulogy belongs in the trash, maybe I still have time to fix my life."
He grabbed his to-do list again, glaring at the next item:
"I'll skip the eulogy and just focus on number two..." He grabbed his bucket list again. The second item read: Try sushi for the first time.
He scratched it out. "No time for raw fish. Onto number three: Prepare a worthy Inheritance!"
Thus began Hugo's last day on earth...